Shit! Blackbeard had sneaked away from Snow White to be with Raggedy Andy. I hadn't considered Snow White because she seemed to be sticking pretty close to her date. Not closely enough, apparently if he'd been able to talk Andy out behind the bushes with him. Hell! I hadn't even noticed it. Sneaky bastard!It would serve him right if I now had the opportunity to rape Snow White. Too bad I wasn't dressed like one of the dwarfs. I watched them kissing for a few minutes and then started to leave. I began to wonder if Raggedy Ann was available.I heard voices being raised behind me and I instinctively hid myself again. Andy came into view striding purposefully back to the house. Apparently Blackbeard had wanted to plunder her goodies a little too quickly for her tastes. Do you realize how ridiculous it looks for anyone dressed like Raggedy Andy to do anything purposefully? Just imagine it!I was hiding behind a dollhouse. How appropriate! It was actually being used to camouflage pool. The odd thing was that while I was a girl, my boy-self often became so totally suppressed that I remembered it as if it were just a dream. I reacted to my buddy just as any girl would have reacted to her boyfriend. I developed a huge crush on him and flirted brazenly. I wanted him to tell me that I was pretty. I loved when we snuggled and he held me in his arms. When he kissed me, I closed my eyes and I felt secure, totally feminine, and so happy. Inevitably, when I became a boy again, I was very embarrassed by the bits and pieces that I remembered and I looked only at girls as potential partners again. I hoped desperately that I never become so stressed in his presence that he'd find out about me and what I had done.I told you that I wished, once you knew about it, that you might help me to integrate myself. I had been in therapy but it didn't help at all. Therapists -the ultimate know-it-alls-- thought the change was just a story that I made up. Meanwhile I was afraid to risk.
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